- Hello good morning... What can we help you with?

- Nahhh, just looking... (lie no. 1)

More often than not, sales proceedings are entirely built on lies and deception. As customers, it all starts with the little lies that are not so white: the defensive tactic of claiming to not be interested - that - or either the much more dangerous lie of pretending to be interested. Then as the salesmen make a run for an elusive close, the customers steals off with bits of free knowledge. So much for commitment, so much for getting back in touch. See y a.

That system exists because of bad salesmen who cheated their customers. Just once is enough. It hurts. Seller, buyer, everyone has sales scars that we'd all like to remain hidden, and more often than not, our spouses know of those scars and they sometimes add on to the anguish.

The pain of that hurt is what determines most of the deal making, well beyond the questions of the product at hand and even its price. Very simply put none of us deal with people we don't trust and who seem intent on inflicting pain. It's half body language, half pleasant appearance and a bit of words (but, as per above, nobody believes the words).

We all keep secret the keys to the hidden doors that open straight into our hearts, with luck, finding one such doors makes for a fruitful buyer / seller relationship though we may never know what door or who went trough it, we just know we're there. Conversely, there are the trap doors that open down into the oubliettes of failed deals. On the surface, we may still be arguing about offers and conditions while we're just working up a nerve in search of trust and easily rattled confidence. Bullying each other around does not do much to qualifying a customer who does not fit.

Make an offer? -Well, this is my budget.

Pressed for close tactics? -Only ask what to do next.

Byers remorse? -Be open about figuring out what haunts the deal and offer to help. Give arguments for the wife, for the friends, and especially for the displaced competition. Whether the help is needed or not, it at least reinforces the commitment and repeat business is the easiest one to get.

But, mostly, don't lie. Don't make the customer lie and don't expect to be lied to. This keeps everyone on a level playing field and makes for the best business. Most amazingly, being candidly frank and open about our secret wishes is the surprising way to clear the air and go straight to making deals; at worse, all you can get an -ooohh.

The sales-built-on-lies theory - I got from a book. http://www.sandler.com/content/show/9288

And bears, we catch with double doses of sweet talk and honey. The rest is supply and demand.