beep... beep... beep...
[recorded female voice] - Good morning! You are calling Gun Collectors Anonimous Hot Line. Unfortunatly, all operators are busy at the moment. Please, hold the line, or call later!
beep...
[Mozart playing]
beep...
[tired female voice] - Good morning! Gun Collectors Anonimous Hot Line, I'm Jane, can I help you?
[worried male voice] - Erm... Yes, I guess. You know, I've been collecting for, erm, some years and... I'm starting to wonder...
- Go on...
- Only, I don't realy think I do have a problem, but my wife says I do, and, she's filing for a divorce if I don't do something about it...
- Well, I want you to ralex for now, because very probably it's not something very serious... How can I call you?
- E-e-erm... James, yeah, call me James.
- So, James, let me ask you a few questions. How many guns do you have?
- Just over a hundred, it isn't too many, is it?
- And how many guns do you buy in a month, on the average?
- Erm... One or two.
- Well, James, you're absolutly not the worst case I've handled, and you have a very positive motivation to quit - you don't want to lose your wife, do you?
- Of course I don't! Her lawyer will rip off half my collection!
- [frustrated] Guess that's it... What are you collecting, by the way?
- Purdeys!
- Only Purdeys?
- They are the most wonderful guns ever made, and there's hardly any reason to consider anything else!
- YOU'RE BUYING A PURDEY EVERY MONTH???!!!
- [proudly] Sometimes more!
- [very worried] James, I'm afraid you do have a very serious problem with your collecting habits, and you ought to consider...
[God Save the Queen playing]
["James"] - Oh, excuse me, there's my gun dealer on the mobile... Can you hold the line?
- James, out of interest - can you say "No!" just once? Can you pick up the phone and tell your dealer you're not interested?
- I'll try... [speaking into the mobile] Hello, hello... A-ha, I see... Uh-huh... uh-huh... Oh really? What's the serial No? [hesitatnly] That's certainly... [pause] No. I'm not interseted. Not at this price. I might take it for 65,00 and noot a penny less. Good-bye! [hangs up, to Jane] See?!
