I'm always amazed how many gun stores (of all types, black guns thru doubles) project an image/attitude that is uninviting or worse, disparaging to, or of, the potentially new customers.
I share your amazement, but have to admit that the places where I have felt most uninvited have generally been lower end places with lots of black guns and pistols. At the other end of the spectrum, Griffin & Howe in Bernardsville have always been wonderful, the Beretta Gallery in London were very kind, and Purdey's was startlingly hospitable.