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5 members (SKB, skeettx, Jerry G, 2 invisible),
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,307
Sidelock
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OP
Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,307 |
One of my sons sent me this. I thought it was worth sharing:
Next time you have a bad day at work . think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 On FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job Experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 3,579 Likes: 88
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 3,579 Likes: 88 |
This reminds me of something that happened to my best friend 30 years ago. We were in the Marine Corps and decided to go swimming on our day off. While we were in the locker room my friend decided to go to the bathroom. After we had changed we headed to the pool. I noticed that he kept rubbing his butt and I asked him what he was doing. He said that his butt itched. I told him to leave it alone and get in the pool. We both dove in and he started screaming and got out almost as fast as he got in. It seems that some wise guy had doctored the tolet paper with itching powder and the walk out combined with his rubbing had just about rubbed him raw. When the clorine hit he was a sore puppy for a couple of days. I laughed until I hurt.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,155
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Had a sergeant on bivouc who went into the woods without toilet paper. Used some convenient leaves instead. Guess what?
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 996 Likes: 7
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 996 Likes: 7 |
Have a similar story to Jack's. When I was a kid, one of the local loggers (retired in his 80's) was out with his son checking out a logging job. Forgot the TP, and did the usual leaf thing also.
The only reason I know about this, is my mom worked at the clinic where he went to get treated for a severe rash! The leaves he used was poison ivy. You'd a thought a logger who spent his life in the woods would know what leaf was suitable for a job like this!
Cameron Hughes
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Poodle in the microwave stories...
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 67
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Setting up to hunt turkeys in the pre-dawn dark I made a mistake I hope to never make again.
It was muggy and hot. Thin pants and a light camo shirt were in order. Rain was not expected, so no rain gear was being worn. The decoy was placed perfectly, affording me an easy shot should a gobbler cooperate. The roost tree was not too far away, and the woods afforded exits to two likely strutting areas. After placing my decoy I retreated to the woods, through a lining of scrub brush that covers the first few yards of our local hardwoods, and selected a tree that afforded me a good shot on any turkey approaching the decoy from the roost tree. Silence was critical, and time was of the essence. Turns out, vision was even more critical. I sat directly on top of poison ivy---fresh, sap-laden, poison ivy. Focused on the hunt I remained on the poison ivy long enough, apparently, to soak through my pants and undergarments. I can't put into words the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach when I first looked down and saw the infamous leaves sticking up between my legs. Despite some outstanding steriods and anti-inflamatory medications I still suffered for a few days.
For all the hunting that I so dearly love, turkey hunting is not loved by me. Part of it certainly is the lack of a hunting dog, but much of it goes back to the one awful experience all those years ago.
Todd
Youth is stolen by Wisdom.
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"The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference, they deserve a place of honor with all that is good". - George Washington
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 743
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I'll bet the "worst day" award went to the jellyfish, not the diver
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