Life's flat for you now, John. Being a dutiful son will lift you up in the short term. As years pass healing comes from realization that all your father and mother wanted for you was to be well and happy.
When my father died 20 years ago, many said there was a momentary feeling that he had just gone on to do something else, his life had been so diversified, useful and happy. Your father burnished your life as my father did mine.
While we often feel we are beyond reach of consolation at these times, your road to happiness has already been illuminated by being a dutiful son. It becomes smoother knowing all your father wanted was for you to be well and happy.
Warm regards, King