First you need to recalibrate your scales. Most scales are one to two pounds heavier per hundred pounds net reading than what a persons actual weight is. This is done at the factory to make ladies feel fatter than they are. I think mine are off a full ten percent. That or Global Warming is causing an increase in gravity in some places, like my house.
Little know facts like that you can share with your wife if you want to start a fasting diet. Be fast if she throws anything, be faster out the door if she reaches for a heavy object like her favorite broom. Be at fault for her favorite broom snapping over your head and you are in a greater jam than when a game warden approaches with a bad case of hemorrhoids on his mind. Buying her a new broom will not help, or so I am told.
