doublegunshop.com - home Forums General Discussion DoubleGun BBS @ doublegunshop.com We need a laugh around here. Too much fighting.

Bubba and his wife have been married for thirty five years. Bubba comes home from work every day, turns on the tv and grabs some beers , has dinner, and goes to bed. Saturday he goes hunting or fishing and Sunday watches either football or Nascar.
Bubba's wife starts thinking the magic has left their marriage and gets an idea to spark the old romance so she decides to go shopping at Victorias Secret.

That night Bubba comes home and notices it's kind of odd the lights are low and candles are lit. He grab a beer and turns on the tv.
Just then his wife comes down the stairs with a skimpy top and crotchless panties. She points down and says, "Bubba you want a little of this?"
Bubba's mouth drops open, spits his beer and says "Lord NO, look what it did to your panties"!

Larry and Darryl are twins, both the dullest knives in the drawer, and both have been out of work for a while- money is getting tight, and Larry sees a ad in the Sunday paper, the employment agency is interviewing for jobs at the local GM in Grand Rapids. Larry's last job was at Clipper Belt as a night janitor, Darryl's last job was an inspector at Cutler,a main supplier to Victoria's Secret in better economic times.

Monday AM, bright and early, both show up at the agency, and with some help, fill out the paperwork, and wait to be interviewed. Larry goes first, and after 10 minutes, goes back to the bench where Darryl is sitting. "Hey, Darryl, guess what, I got a job at GM, 3rd shift janitor, at $15.00/hour. How about that?"" Whoo-ee says Darryl, I gotta get me a GM job too. That's for me.

Darryl goes back to be interviewed, comes back in a while and sits down next to his brother. "Well, didja get a GM job Darryl?" asks Larry. "Yeah, I sure did- Second shift, $25.00/hour, start tomorrow." "Hey, what the Hell-- how come you get second shift and $10.00 an hour more than I get on third shift? We should be working together, same shift, same pay. Didn't you tell the dude we are twins?""

Naww, I just told him what I did at Cutler, and they put me in skilled trades right away."

"This is bullshit Darryl, come with me and we'll get this dude straightened out on skilled trades."

So they both head back to the clerk's desk, and Larry asks him why he wasn't in skilled trades at $25.00/hr. like his dipstick twin brother. "Well, sir, your brother was a Diesel fitter when he worked at Cutler, and that is a skilled trade at GM. You were a night janitor at Clipper Belt, and that is NOT a skilled trade here at GM", was the terse answer given to Larry.

"Skilled trade- skilled trade, my ass," replied Larry. Do you know what he did each day at Cutler?" "He sat on an inspection and packing line in the underwear department, pulled a pair of panties down over his head down to the ears, took them off and said: "Yeah, dese'l fit her" and stuffed them in a box and sent them down the line."

A bar has three doors.

Drunk staggers in the front door, orders a beer. Bartender informs him that he can't serve those already intoxicated. Drunk staggers back out the front door.

Same drunk staggers in the side door. Is once again told he's too drunk to be served, staggers back out the side door.

Drunk crawls in the back door. Hoists himself up to the bar, takes a look at the bartender and says.... wait for it...

"Do you work at every bar in this town?"

(rim shot)

Two guys watch a dog lick his thing.
First guy says: " I wish I could do this..."

After a while, the second guy says...
"Why don't you pet him first?"