Dear Salopian,
If Stan won't put you up for a month, I will. We can work the barrel weight calculations at night and since I know you are an accomplished craftsman, we can finish that remodel of my mother's bathroom (loo to you) and then the termite damage to my house, just some basic carpentry. Later, we can do that remodel of my wife's kitchen and bath. By the time we're all done, it'll be hunting season and we can then see if all the poo I've picked up was worth it's weight, if that dog will hunt. If this offer of conscripted labor seems attractive, please ... well maybe we can just do a foreign exchange program where we trade places.