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Joined: Jan 2002
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Sidelock
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So sorry to hear of your loss, Mike. I know the feelings of hurt, loss, and separation. The one thing that is certain is that the memories that hurt so much now will later bring a big smile to your face as you recall them. It just takes time ............. sometimes more than others.

All my best, SRH


May God bless America and those who defend her.
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life is good...death sucks...

time heals such wounds...

Last edited by ed good; 05/05/19 07:02 AM.

keep it simple and keep it safe...
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My sincere condolences. I have fond memories of her in West Texas and Kansas. Been through this pain eleven times and its looking like it will happen again soon. Does not get easier but the love they return makes the pain worthwhile.

Last edited by Jim H.; 05/04/19 10:12 PM.
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The great dogs all go too fast. Sorry for your loss.

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Very sorry for your loss, Mike. About the only comfort you can take is that in having the vet ease their end, you're doing your best for your faithful companion.

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Mike and I hunted the Sandhills the last few years and Cocoa was Mike's constant companion. I can't imagine a better one for him.

We tended to go later in October, when the sharpies are extremely skittish. Cocoa was the perfect companion. Always by Mike's side, never ahead scaring them up early and always on the downed bird in a flash. IMHO the perfect dog for the sharptail hunting both Mike and I love so much. Made my Llewellin Scout look like a hunting oaf by comparison.

Mike is the photographer between us so he has the stockpile of pics of Cocoa and from the start of each hunt to the end, he was always after the perfect shot of Cocoa and the bird. I would chide him about the photography....."There may be more birds!" But Mike was and is right. There will always be more birds. We now know there is a limit on photographs of Cocoa and we've reached it.

I can't imagine what you are going through Mike, except I do know having lost three already and with another coming up soon. May your Lord give you strength.


The world cries out for such: he is needed & needed badly- the man who can carry a message to Garcia
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There are no words for the loss of a faithful friend.

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What King said, other than "I'm sorry"
I've told many a deacon that the wrong thing to say is "I know how you feel" and "It'll be alright".
None of us can know the pain of another, and some hurts just don't heal. I'm not sure I'm man enough to go through it again.
Praying that you have a friend and brother that can sit and weep with you Mike.

Interesting thing about dogs; somehow when we pet them, all our pain seems to flow out into them, and it doesn't bother them a bit.

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Thank you for all the sentiments. Grief is indeed an individual journey, and as a hospice chaplain I deal with it daily; but this time I am on the other side of the tears. I don't like change, and everything in my life has changed. All has been taken from me, except my life and health, down to the last part of my life I begged God to spare. I can only hope I emulate Job's initial response.

I've never kept a journal or diary until last year, when another area of my life, since removed, was quite the focus of my attention.

I wrote several things about her, this when I was called back to the hospital if I wished to see her again:

There was profound sorrow and sadness in her eyes in the emergency room kennel. She must have displayed her usual disdain for vets, as she had a big plasitc cone collar securely fastened around her neck. I laid down in the kennel with her, and drew long strokes along her coat. She allowed me to clean the vomit out of the inside of the cone, which the vet said she would not let them do. I got up and out of the kennel, sitting on the floor in front of it, getting out of the way so the vet could start disengaging her from all the tubes in her- all except one, which would be employed shortly.

To the vet's amazement, she summoned the last of her strength, stood up, and walked into my lap, settling in one last time. Two injections and two minutes later, I felt her body relax in my arms,.

I will leave my friends, for now, with one other very personal entry in my book. It is how I perceive the experience, and rather than try to talk me out of it, please just try to quietly understand:

I feel as if I have failed her, a poor steward of the life that was entrusted to me. I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me. I was too cavalier with her care, and we have both paid a terrible price; it has cost her her life, and me- and me- my soulmate.

Mike


Tolerance: the abolition of absolutes

Consistency is the currency of credibility
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if we live long enough to be "old", we all experience the pain of the loss of loved ones...eventually, you will accept that loss...if not, then you might as well just die and end your misery...some of us realize, that much of what makes up our lives is luck...if we are really lucky, most of our luck will be good luck...however, bad luck does come our way from time to time...this is one of those times for you...

what may be helpful, is to realize that bad luck has come your way and you have to deal with it...think of all of the good luck that you have had in your life...be grateful for that...recognize that nothing, good or bad is forever...grieve for as long as it takes...try do what makes you happy...one of these days, you will begin to realize how lucky you were to have had cocoa in your life...and she you...then you will know that you are on your way to recovery...meantime, its ok to wallow in your misery...for as long as it takes for you to get sick of it and decide to do something else...

Last edited by ed good; 05/05/19 02:48 PM.

keep it simple and keep it safe...
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