as i understand the federal laws, so long as it is not a commercial transaction, ffl transfer is not required...nys law may be another issue...
Absolutely wrong! And a way you can lose your right to own firearms.
The only exception to the requirement for an FFL transfer on the receiving end of a transaction is a lawful bequest or intestate succession - unless you're dead you can't transfer your modern guns across state lines without an FFL being involved.https://www.atf.gov/firearms/qa/whom-may-unlicensed-person-transfer-firearms-under-gca
Obviously, pre-1899 firearms and muzzle loaders may be transferred without an FFL on the receiving end unless a state law requires an FFL.