Back about 15 years, I took a college buddy turkey hunting in Northeast Missouri. He was known by a number of us to not be a very good hunter, but he had been begging to get a turkey... We were up early and in the woods sneaking toward a known roosting area. Of course we wanted to get set up before sunrise, so I cringed when he said he wasn't feeling well. I think the exact quote was, "Man, I gotta take a s#%t."
So I tell him to hurry it up. He does and off we go again. We get set up, me the caller and him about 10 yards in front of me. The birds were active, with a number of gobblers sounding off. One took a particular interest in my calling and was headed our way. The setup was perfect, but the bird peeled off and headed away just out of gun range. I couldn't figure out what had happened.
My buddy evidently couldn't either, as he turned around the tree he was against and looked back at me. He had no mesh facemask on and it was no doubt the bird had seen him.
I asked him where the heck his facemask was. He whispered back sheepishly, "Well, I didn't have any toilet paper."
Needless to say, I never shook his hand again.
