I started my sons and daughters out with 28 and 20 ga guns. I find early success to be very important for new shooters. Miss too many in a row and you'll think this game is not for me. Too hard. But I had the advantage of multiple guns to work with and reloading got the 20 recoil down to light levels. My kids never complained about recoil. Having to pick up shells maybe. But if all I had for them was a .410 then that's what I would have used. It's better to shoot than not as a kid and I can temper expectation so kids don't quit. It's a game and we need to make it fun.
I did not learn how to flinch with a shotgun. My mistake was to shoot a .458 too much. I had sold some timber and planned on going to Africa to shoot Cape Buff and an Eliphant. Late 60's or early 70 elephants were not in such desperate shape from poaching. In those days I still had all my Model 70s and had a .375 H&H and a slightly used .458. The regs were that the .375 was too small for Elephants so I started shooting the .458. It was too much recoil too shoot too much but being young and dumb I kept trying. After the flinch started it just got worse until I had it like a stutter. Plans for Africa were scrapped. I stopped shooting for more than a year but the flinch was waiting when I returned. It took about 50k .410 shells for the flinch to go mostly away. Another 50k and it was gone. So the .410 to me saved my shooting.
