"Not yet pilgrim"...
The Boss barked...
Waking me up..
My head hurt...
Last night lingers...
As it should
Was it real?
Or just smoke
From the Boss...
His bad temper...
led her astray...
into the arms...
of unseen chair...
which utterly collapsed...
Knocking me out..
of serious contention...
but fear not...
her estranged husband...
a jealous philatelist..
Came with tweezers...
and straight razors...
to gun fight....
but totally unprepared...
His razor flashed...
His chest bloomed...
like a rose...
Shave, haircut, 2-bits...
That fits, Burma-Shave...
There was blood...
But no styptic...
Meanwhile, back at...
the ranch, they...
partied with abandon...
and toasted his...
ham on rye...
Hold the Mayo...
Clinic doctor hostage...
and force him...
to accept Medicare
to extract rocksalt...
and bacon rind...
"Oh that bacon"...
burns like hell...
When the doctor...
suggested safe sex...
I considered it...
then thought better...
too much effort...
so I decided...
pheasant hunting today...
in a blizzard...
Where's my Chapstick?
"Rooster!" I shouted.
"Damn" Unloaded chamber.
Dog was pissed...
and snarled viciously...
then bit me...
I deserved it...
My phone dropped
my ambulance call.
and chukars chuckled....
Visions of dinner...
quickly faded away...
replaced by reality..
My "Boss"--Mossberg???
No, the butt...
Like Mama Cass...
In a mu-mu...
All the leaves...
Are California dreamin'...
But its winter!...
and the snowbirds...
Flock down I-95...
backing up traffic...
O Canada! MOVE! wink...
the Queen approacheth...
all in Drag..
Come forth! She...
sashŕyed right over...
and knighted the...
nearest stray cat...
cursing all dogs...
I cannot lie...
I said while...
viewing the strange...
and disturbing scene..
Quickly, get the...
undertaker and priest...
for an exorcist...
exercise and extravaganza...
with Jack LaLane...
Always...wait, never...
bend and stretch...
after taking Ex-Lax...
Lest you force...
a nasty shart...
I bid adieu...
Needing toilet paper...
and clean underwear...
and a bidet...
that squirts kerosene...
A moon shot?...
on bleeding hemoroids...
preventing hunting today..
Look! A big...
bull moose named...
Bullwinkle, no kidding...
Melania, er, Natasha...
and Boris came...
for Rocky stew..
Doright Fair Nell...
thunderously belched garlic...
in Peabody's direction...
pinching his nose...
at the foul...
ball to right...
I shook nervously...

Practice safe eating. Always use a condiment.